Riverhed.com

I’ll preface this post with the disclaimer that I’m just a little drunk, and I blame Alex for that entirely.

Tonight I got out of my rut of social inactvity – my buddy T.J. was supposed to do that last weekend with his wine and cheese party, but it was delayed until tomorrow due to snow, so my only human contact for the last week was Ivona. Don’t get me wrong, that’s pretty ok with me, and I’ve enjoyed watching episode after episode of The Office while she’s been at work, but I realized today how much I’ve missed varied social interaction this past month; it was great to meet new people in a new environment, although I’ll admit it takes some warming up to new surroundings for me. Alex has probably noticed this more than anyone, but I think in the past couple years I’ve become increasingly uptight, and it really helps me unwind to go out and have a few drinks and relax a little bit. I don’t mean to say I need a couple drinks to relax and talk with people, but it helps. (I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC I SWEAR.)

So, anyway, I met Ivona and her co-workers at the Toasted Owl in Northampton. I’ll admit I can be pretty bad with names, and the ones I remember I won’t attempt to spell (have I mentioned I’ve had more than a few drinks tonight?). We got some wings and I had a couple Blue Moons. A girl from another Smith office just got engaged, and I felt a little insecure about the size of her engagement ring compared to Ivona’s (non-existant) diamond, but oh well. At least I can take solace in the practicality of our marriage.

Another of her co-workers just bought a house with her boyfriend, and it made me realize how much I really don’t want to be where she is right now; I don’t want to be buying a house and settling down. I want to live out of a backpack and travel. I want to spend a year in a country where I don’t speak the language and make the most out of it. I want to do whatever the hell I want without having to worry about a rent or mortgage payment or an electric bill. I want to join the Peace Corps and spend two years helping people and learning about a different culture. And if nothing else, I want to do that because I have no idea what I can do for a living with a journalism degree in a dying newspaper industry. I want to do all that with Ivona, and I’m grateful for the fact that if I decided to do all this tomorrow, she’d support me.

After the after-work happy hour, Ivona and I returned home. I did some work on this site and Ivona took a nap, and Alex called and said he wanted me to come out. I was hesitant at first; when I get into the habit of not being social it’s hard to break out of it, but he worked out a ride for me and given that he’s moving soon I didn’t feel like I could say no, and I’m glad I didn’t. When he moves, it’ll be only the second time we’ve lived in different time zones. I guess this isn’t a huge deal to regular siblings, but for identical twins it’s different. We’ve had our differences in the past few years, and gone in different directions with our lives, but he’s still my twin brother and I’m going to miss him. I’m determined to actually get this screenplay we talk about writing at least underway, and I’m hoping my Hollywood contacts will get us somewhere once it’s done.

(Note: Finished this post today, 1/17/09.)

The rest of the night wasn’t terribly eventful, so I’ll skip the details, but I beat the wingman role like a dead horse played wingman for Alex and Greg perfectly enough that I ended up stuck in conversation with one of the girls long after Alex and Greg had aborted the mission. It’s probably just as well that she’s engaged, because she was much hotter from across the bar than up close.

Even though it wasn’t much of a night out, it felt great to get out and do something, and I’m looking forward to the wine and cheese party tonight. With most of my friends gone from Amherst already, I’ve settled into an almost agoraphobic lifestyle. It’s not that I’m afraid of going out, just that I sort of feel like, hey, what’s the point, you know? But then when I finally do it, I’m glad I did. I’ll probably go out even less once Alex is gone, though, so I should get in that quality bar time while I can.